DISCOVERY QUESTIONS

Series: Becoming Who We Are
Passage: Ephesians 4:1-16 | 3/2-3/2019
Main Idea: God gives gifts to his people for the purpose of unifying, building up, and maturing his Church.

Leader Guide

GROUP DISCUSSION

Lean In

Are you the type of person that reads instructions before you build something? If so, why do you think that is? If not, has it ever gotten you into trouble? How?

Look Down

As a group, read Ephesians 4:1-16 together.

This week, we begin the second half of the book of Ephesians. This part of Ephesians is all about
instructions for Christian living—how we are to act because of all that Jesus has done for us. In the first 16 verses of Ephesians, God gives us some instructions for His church—the community of believers that gather together, united by Jesus Christ.

A. Review Ephesians 4:1-6 together. In order for the church to reflect the unity that God desires, what character qualities are required from each of us?

B. Review Ephesians 4:7, 11-13 together. Here we learn that the unity that God desires for the church is not lived out in uniformity, for Jesus gives different spiritual gifts to a diversity of people in the church. What do we learn about these spiritual gifts in this passage? Who receives them? What is their purpose?

C. Read Ephesians 4:14-16. What is God’s ultimate goal for the church? How is this goal accomplished?

Look Out

God’s vision for the church outlined by Paul in Ephesians 4:1-16 is a place where people are in close community with one another, serving one another in humility and love. Wanting to feel connected and that we belong is a significant and universal feeling.

A. What different places do people go outside of the church to get this sense of connection and belonging? What is attractive about these other places?

B. What do you think keeps some people from really seeking that sort of connection and belonging in the church?

C. What positive examples have you seen of how people have felt embraced, encouraged, and connected as a result of connecting to a church?

Look In

A. How has being a part of a church community or Life Group been a positive experience for you in your faith? How has it been tough?

B. Look at the qualities that Paul lists in Ephesians 4:1-6 (Look Down, Question A). If you or your group were to live this out, how would those qualities benefit the group? What gets in the way of living this way?

C. John Ortberg once wrote, “It’s possible for people to attend the same church—even the same small group—sit in the same chair, nod to the same people, talk about sports, the weather or even the Bible month after month or year after year without anyone really KNOWING them. Nobody knows their hopes, their fears. Nobody knows that their marriage is crumbling, their heart is breaking. Nobody knows that they are involved in a secret pattern of sin that is destroying their soul. This is not God’s plan. It is a mockery of community.

“Ultimately, only you can decide if you are going to come out of hiding. You don’t have to do it. Nobody can force it upon you. You can maintain your reputation. You can cultivate your impression management. You can protect your status. Or you can come into the light—and know and be known. You can move toward healing and transformation. You can know the kind of community that can only happen among forgiven sinners. It’s up to you.”

React to this quote among your group. What thoughts, feelings, emotions does it bring up?

Live It Out

Let’s practice this together. What are you carrying on your own that you can bring to your community? How do you need your community to come around you? Spend time sharing and praying for each other.

LEADER GUIDE

Lean In

Purpose: Introduce topic and get everyone talking

Are you the type of person that reads instructions before you build something? If so, why do you think that is? If not, has it ever gotten you into trouble? How?

This is a “lighter” question intended to get the conversation going.

Look Down

Purpose: Observe the passage and interact with the text

As a group, read Ephesians 4:1-16 together.

1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
7But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8This is why it says:
“When he ascended on high,
he took many captives
and gave gifts to his people.”

9(What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

This week, we begin the second half of the book of Ephesians. This part of Ephesians is all about instructions for Christian living—how we are to act because of all that Jesus has done for us. In the first 16 verses of Ephesians, God gives us some instructions for His church—the community of believers that gather together, united by Jesus Christ.

A. Review Ephesians 4:1-6 together. In order for the church to reflect the unity that God desires, what character qualities are required from each of us?

Paul encourages the church in humility, gentleness, patience, and in bearing with one another in love. He also exhorts the church to make every effort to keep unity. Remember that in chapter 2, Paul declared the unity that the Jews and Gentiles now have in Christ. He now encourages them to live out this unity, knowing that it will require all these qualities, particularly the qualities listed in verse 2.

B. Review Ephesians 4:7, 11-13 together. Here we learn that the unity that God desires for the church is not lived out in uniformity, for Jesus gives different spiritual gifts to a diversity of people in the church. What do we learn about these spiritual gifts in this passage? Who receives them? What is their purpose?

The spiritual gifts are given to “each one of us” by Christ through his grace.

First, we learn that these gifts are given in grace. In other words, they are not deserved or merited. They are given at God’s good pleasure.

Second, Paul says that each one of us receives them.

Third, we learn in verse 12 that they are intended to serve and build up the body of Christ, which will lead us to unity and maturity. Each of us has a contribution to the church. We all have a role. We are all given gifts so that we can serve the body of Christ. This goes directly against the consumer Christianity mindset, which is focused on intake, entertainment, and being served.

The gifts listed in this passage include some variation from gifts listed elsewhere in Scripture (Romans 12:6-8, 1 Cor. 12, and 1 Peter 4:11). In light of this variety, some scholars argue that there may be additional gifts that the Spirit gives as needed to build up the church. Regardless, their purpose is clear: to serve and build the church.

*For deeper study, Chris Ward has provided a separate explanation specifically about verses 8-10 linked here.

C. Read Ephesians 4:14-16. What is God’s ultimate goal for the church? How is this goal accomplished?

God’s goal for the church is that we will grow and mature into Christ. This is accomplished by 1) being connected to Him, as our head, and 2) by building his body up in love as each person does his part.

An interesting note here is that we usually think of “speaking the truth in love” as a justification to confront about someone about their sin. But sometimes, speaking the truth in love is actually quite affirming and encouraging!

Look Out

Purpose: Connect observations in God’s Word with observations in our world today.

God’s vision for the church outlined by Paul in Ephesians 4:1-16 is a place where people are in close community with one another, serving one another in humility and love. Wanting to feel connected and that we belong is a significant and universal feeling.

A. What different places do people go outside of the church to get this sense of connection and belonging? What is attractive about these other places?

Some places may include:
– Bars
– Coffee shops
– The gym
– Parks
– Sports or sporting events
– Facebook/social media

Some elements that may be attractive about them:
– Shared interest/experience
– Something that brings people together
– These may be places that are free from judgment and/or expectations
– They often have an easy entry point and are easily accessible

B. What do you think keeps some people from really seeking that sort of connection and belonging in the church?

Some answers may include:
– Some feel judged in the church
– It can be hard to find an entry point (some churches are very big and you can come for months or even years and not feel connected)
– Community can be hard to find on weekends when there are so many people and the focus is more directed toward the stage
– Some may feel embarrassed because they don’t know enough
– Some feel like they have to pretend to be someone they aren’t, have everything together
– On serve teams or in Life Groups, there is a commitment involved, and some people may not want to commit or feel the pressure to commit.

C. What positive examples have you seen of how people have felt embraced, encouraged, and connected as a result of connecting to a church?

This question is more focused on what your group members have seen “out there”. The next question will focus more specifically on positive examples and experiences within your group.

Look In

Purpose: Internalize God’s Word and apply the truth to your personal life.

A. How has being a part of a church community or Life Group been a positive experience for you in your faith? How has it been tough?

This is a great time to 1) affirm your church, your group, and your group members, and 2) to share honestly about the struggles you have experienced within your church and your group.

B. Look at the qualities that Paul lists in Ephesians 4:1-6 (Look Down, Question A). If you or your group were to live this out, how would those qualities benefit the group? What gets in the way of living this way?

Let your group dream a bit. Encourage them to think beyond what feels “realistic” and dream about what could be…

As your group considers what gets in the way, encourage them to be honest. You, as the leader, set the tone of safety and honesty. Your group will not go where you don’t go.

C. John Ortberg once wrote, “It’s possible for people to attend the same church—even the same small group—sit in the same chair, nod to the same people, talk about sports, the weather or even the Bible month after month or year after year without anyone really KNOWING them. Nobody knows their hopes, their fears. Nobody knows that their marriage is crumbling, their heart is breaking. Nobody knows that they are involved in a secret pattern of sin that is destroying their soul. This is not God’s plan. It is a mockery of community.

“Ultimately, only you can decide if you are going to come out of hiding. You don’t have to do it. Nobody can force it upon you. You can maintain your reputation. You can cultivate your impression management. You can protect your status. Or you can come into the light—and know and be known. You can move toward healing and transformation. You can know the kind of community that can only happen among forgiven sinners. It’s up to you.”

React to this quote among your group. What thoughts, feelings, emotions does it bring up?

You may have some good discussion here, but please make sure you save time for the following question. It’s safer to talk about it than it is to actually do it together. As you close, your priority is less to talk about being known and more to actually practice being known, knowing others, and caring for each other.

Live It Out

Purpose: Imagine what your world would look like if the truths from the passage were lived out.

Let’s practice this together. What are you carrying on your own that you can bring to your community? How do you need your community to come around you? Spend time sharing and praying for each other.

Our Life Groups are our main tool for discipleship, and practicing vulnerability with and ministering to each other is a crucial piece of this!

This is a great time to patiently wait for your group members to share. If you allow 20+ minutes for this time, it will offer your group members the space they need to open up. You won’t have time to hear from everyone, so focus in on one or two people.

As people share, allow the group (for a short time) to ask questions or to reflect empathy to the person that shared. But make sure the focus remains on the person that shared. Sometimes group members will say something like, “I remember when that happened to me… This is what I did… Have you tried that?”

This takes the focus away from the person sharing, which we want to avoid. We also want to avoid advice. It’s not helpful here.

Then, move to pray for those that shared. Ask if you can lay hands on them as a representation of God’s presence with them. Open your prayer time simply asking the Holy Spirit to lead you. Take a moment of silence and listen for how He may be leading you to pray. It takes practice discerning his leading, but this is a great place to take a step of faith in prayer as we learn.

If you’re unsure, praying scripture is an excellent place to start. Ask the Spirit to give you a scripture to pray over this person. Or the Lord may give you a picture or an image to pray or speak over the person. Maybe He gives you a worship lyric. Or the Lord may give you a simple word or phrase.

Simply speak what you sense he is bringing to mind. Excess words can often get in the way, so focus in on what the Spirit brings to mind, and simply pray that. It may not mean a lot to you, but the Spirit can use what he gives you to touch that person’s heart. There’s no pressure in this. We are learning, but it may require a step of faith to share.

He wants to use you to minister. This is part of building up the body of Christ!

Continue to pray for your group members as needs are shared.

After the prayer time, debrief in the group with those that were prayed over. Ask if any of the prayers or words spoken over them resonated with them. Ask how they felt God meet them through the prayer. Celebrate any ways in which God used the group to minister to each other.