DISCOVERY QUESTIONS

Series: Becoming Who We Are
Passage: Ephesians 6:1-9
Main Idea: We honor Christ when we honor the authority figures in our lives.

Download PDF VersionLeader Guide

GROUP DISCUSSION

Lean In

1. What is the oddest “odd job” you’ve ever had before?

Look Down

2. Read Ephesians 6:1-4. What instructions are given to parents and children?

3. Read Ephesians 6:5-9. What instructions are given to slaves and masters? (See Leader Notes for a brief discussion about the master/slave relationship in the first century.)

4. What similarities or differences do you see in how Paul addresses both sets of relationships?

Look Out

What unites both Ephesians 6:1-4 and 6:5-9 is a discussion of authority in relationships—how Christians are to respond to authority as they seek to “live a life worthy of the calling” (Ephesians 4:1).

5. Why do you think a Christian’s response to authority is so important? Why is it so hard sometimes to respond well to others in authority positions?

6. What does it look like to respect someone (e.g. parents, bosses) even when you disagree with them? Are there ever limits on the commands of Paul here?

Look In

7. What has been your response to authority in the past? What is your typical response to authority (both in your family and in the workplace)?

8. Do you respond differently to certain authority figures based on how they treat you? If so, why is that?

Live It Out

9. If your parents are still alive, what is a practical way that you can show honor to them? What would get in the way of doing that, and how can you overcome that?

10. If you work, what are practical things you can do to show honor and respect to your boss? (Or, if you are the boss of others, what are practical ways you can show gratitude and appreciation for your employees, co-worker relationships?) What would get in the way of doing that? How does knowing that you are ultimately respecting Christ when you respect others help you overcome whatever would get in the way of doing that?

11. This week’s study wraps up the section of Ephesians devoted to relationships: how we are to respond to others because of what Christ has done for us. Broaden the discussion – how have we done these past few weeks in our relationships?

12. End with a time of prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to help you in all of your relationships. Pray specifically for those that have strained relationships with a parent, a boss or co-worker, or even with other members of your Life Group. Pray for the unity of the Holy Spirit, as Paul prays for the Ephesians.

LEADER GUIDE

Lean In

Purpose: Introduce topic and get everyone talking.

1. What is the oddest “odd job” you’ve ever had before?

This is an easy questions to get the conversation going. The term “odd job” can be open to interpretation referring to either a one time job, or long-term job that seemed “odd” to you or others.

Look Down

Purpose: Observe the passage and interact with the text

Read Ephesians 6:1-9:
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

5Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, 8because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.

9And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

2. Review Ephesians 6:1-4. What instructions are given to parents and children?

3. Review Ephesians 6:5-9. What instructions are given to slaves and masters? (See Leader Notes for a brief discussion about the master/slave relationship in the first century.)

4. What similarities or differences do you see in how Paul addresses both sets of relationships?

For 2), the instructions include:
Children: obey, honor
Parents: do not exasperate, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord

Before answering Question 3), the master/slave relationship needs to be explained briefly:

Slaves of those days were often either indentured servants or working for money. The Slave/Master language can be correctly bridged to this culture today as “Employee/Boss.” While there are some distinctions about the 1st century context from which Paul is writing, our idea of slavery from our own recent history is not the same context as that of the one described here by Paul. NT Wright puts it this way:

“Paul could no more envisage a world without slavery than we can envisage a world without electricity. The way Paul’s world worked was through slaves taking a vital place in most households except those of the very poor. If Paul were writing this letter today, he would address his instructions to employees and employers.”

For 3), the instructions include:
Slaves/servants: obey (with sincerity, out of obedience), serve wholeheartedly as if serving the Lord, not people.
Masters: Treat in the same way as the above list, don’t threaten, don’t show favoritism.

For 4) The theme that ties both sets of verses together is “Authority.” Both are called to obey “in the Lord” or “as if working for the Lord.” Both sets of authority figures are called to “not exasperate” and “don’t threaten or show favoritism.” God’s authority is ultimate, and He has put us in roles where we are subservient to others. In both sets, we see all parties involved (children, parents, slaves, masters) as being called to treat each other as God treats us: with love, kindness, and unconditional grace.

Look Out

Purpose: Connect observations in God’s Word with observations in our world today.

What unites both Ephesians 6:1-4 and 6:5-9 is a discussion of authority in relationships—how Christians are to respond to authority as they seek to “live a life worthy of the calling” (Ephesians 4:1).

5. Why do you think a Christian’s response to authority is so important? Why is it so hard sometimes to respond well to others in authority positions?

6. What does it look like to respect someone (e.g. parents, bosses) even when you disagree with them? Are there ever limits on the commands of Paul here?

For 5) our response to authority reflects our view of God. If we submit to His authority, and He calls us to love and serve unconditionally, then we have to submit to others “as if we were serving the Lord, not people.” (vs. 6). Your answers may vary here, but the follow up is important to discuss – WHY is it so hard to do this?

For 6) there are numerous responses. There is action (be diligent, work hard, stay positive, serve wholeheartedly) and there is inaction (don’t be passive-aggressive, don’t “slack off”, don’t make every request feel like a huge burden). This question helps you identify where you might need to ask the Holy Spirit for more humility, grace, perseverance, and gentleness.

The second part about limits will allow the group to unpack the nuances of Paul’s command here. Some of those limits may include:
– What is being asked/required goes against God’s Word
– What is being asked/required would cause harm to others or yourself

One caution here: We can quickly go to the reasons why we should not obey our parents or employers, but the focus of this passage is on what it looks like to serve wholeheartedly, no matter what. Help the group redirect back to this focus as you move on to the LOOK IN section.

Look In

Purpose: Internalize God’s Word and apply the truth to your personal life.

7. What has been your response to authority in the past? What is your typical response to authority (both in your family and in the workplace)?

8. Do you respond differently to certain authority figures based on how they treat you? If so, why is that?

For these questions, encourage your group to share openly. We have to confront our own issues that surround authority if we are to seek to put these verses into practice.

Live It Out

Purpose: Imagine what your world would look like if the truths from the passage were lived out.

9. If your parents are still alive, what is a practical way that you can show honor to them? What would get in the way of doing that, and how can you overcome that?

10. If you work, what are practical things you can do to show honor and respect to your boss? (Or, if you are the boss of others, what are practical ways you can show gratitude and appreciation for your employees, co-worker relationships?) What would get in the way of doing that? How does knowing that you are ultimately respecting Christ when you respect others help you overcome whatever would get in the way of doing that?

11. This week’s study wraps up the section of Ephesians devoted to relationships: how we are to respond to others because of what Christ has done for us. Broaden the discussion – how have we done these past few weeks in our relationships?

12. End with a time of prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to help you in all of your relationships. Pray specifically for those that have strained relationships with a parent, a boss or co-worker, or even with other members of your Life Group. Pray for the unity of the Holy Spirit, as Paul prays for the Ephesians.

For 9) & 10), v. 7-8 “serve whole-heartedly as if serving the Lord…)” can be an incredibly powerful verse. This is more than just “lightly respecting them” – instead, it is whole-heartedly serving even when you don’t feel like it. In the NASB, the word for “whole-heartedly” is translated “with Good Will” – it’s both an outward action as well as a heart posture. If you find yourself serving without Good Will towards your parents or employer, then it might be a good heart-check to see if you are truly submitting to God in this.

As a final note for the discussion on this passage: These commands are not just for how you treat your boss/employer/parents – they are also about how you treat those around you – your co-workers, your clients, your other family members. You are creating a culture around you of either respect or disrespect, service or disservice. A great verse to read for the group is Philippians 2:14 “Do everything without grumbling or arguing.”

For 12), spend time praying for each other to have attitudes that would reflect Christ. It might be good to even spend some time praying for one or two specific people who seem to be struggling with this more than others.