Series: #CanYouRelate?
Sermon: Love Forgives
Passage:1 Corinthians 13

Main Idea: Love keeps no record of wrong.

Purpose: Introduce topic and get the group talking.

1. Imagine what it might feel like to have a significant debt forgiven (car loan, credit card bill, mortgage, student loan payment, ect.). How would it make you feel to be done with that debt?

Purpose: Observe the passage and interact with the text

Our theme for this week is “Love keeps no records of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). The idea of this statement is that for relationships to work, forgiveness must play a part. With that in mind, we’re going to look at a passage that is all about forgiveness.

As a group, read Matthew 18:21-35.

2. What do we learn about forgiveness from this passage? List as many things as you can find.

Purpose: Connect observations in God’s Word with observations in our world today.

3. What do you think is attractive about refusing forgiveness – hanging on to and “keeping a record of” wrong things that people do to us, and using that against other people in relationships?

4. What do you think we can gain when we forgive others?

5. As a group, read the following quote and discuss its implications to questions 3 and 4.

“When you forgive another person, you’re not declaring them innocent. You’re just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You’re saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It’s not about winning or losing anymore. It’s about freedom. It’s about letting go… that’s why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven another person say, ‘it felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.’ Yes. That is exactly what it is. It’s like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart.” (The Love Dare).

Purpose: Internalize God’s Word and apply the truth to your personal life.

6. When have you struggled with forgiving someone in the past? What made it difficult to forgive?

7. What do you think about the Bible’s advice not just to forgive someone (Matthew 18:21-35), but, in a sense, to also forget the wrongs that someone has done against us (“Love keeps no records of wrongs” – 1 Corinthians 13:5)? Do you think it’s unreasonable? Doable? Why or why not?

8. What would it take to try and put the Bible’s advice into practice and “forget” the wrongs others have done to you, including the wrongs of those closest to you? What would it require you to do differently? What might get in the way of practicing that sort of forgiveness?

Purpose: Spend time listening for God’s for direction and guidance as you seek to live out the truths of this passage in your everyday life.

9. For this part, we would suggest splitting into gender-specific groups of 2 or 3. Spend time listening to the voice of God. Ask him to reveal any situations in your life right now where you are struggling to forgive a wrong done against you by someone. As appropriate, spend some time sharing. What makes it hard to forgive that individual? What would it require to forgive that wrong?

Resist the urge to give advice. After a person has shared, spend some time listening to God and asking him how to pray for that person. Then, pray for them, asking for God’s help in practicing forgiveness towards that individual.

Purpose: Introduce topic and get the group talking.

1. Imagine what it might feel like to have a significant debt forgiven (car loan, credit card bill, mortgage, student loan payment, ect.). How would it make you feel to be done with that debt?

If anyone has already had this happen, encourage them to share as well.

Purpose: Observe the passage and interact with the text

Our theme for this week is “Love keeps no records of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). The idea of this statement is that for relationships to work, forgiveness must play a part. With that in mind, we’re going to look at a passage that is all about forgiveness.

2. What do we learn about forgiveness from this passage? List as many things as you can find.

If not mentioned in discussion, ask the group: What is the significance of the numbers in the story? How does the story come to life in light of this?

Some things to note:
Jewish tradition limited forgiveness to three times. Thus making “seven times” a much more generous amount.
Seventy times seven meant “unlimited”
Peter wanted to count how many times, but Jesus’ response was “do not count”
Jesus says “the kingdom of heaven is like…” noting that forgiveness is something engraved into the fabric of the kingdom of heaven
10,000 was the largest number in the first century. It is equivalent to about $4,000,000,000 today. Making this debt more than anyone would be able to pay.
The King took pity, canceled the debt, and let him go – what Jesus’ death did for us.
In contrast, the servant went to collect a debt that was about one millionth of the debt he was just forgiven.
The situations were almost identical – but the servant did not extend grace where he had just received it.

Purpose: Connect observations in God’s Word with observations in our world today.

3. What do you think is attractive about refusing forgiveness – hanging on to and “keeping a record of” wrong things that people do to us, and using that against other people in relationships?

There is always a motive to not forgive. Some answers may include:
Justice – don’t let someone off the hook, “it’s not fair!”
If I forgive, the weight of the injustice feels lessened
You might actually “savor” or enjoy the pain as a way to keep a sense of control.
Pride – they have to understand how much they hurt you!
It’s hard work to actually forgive. It’s easier to “stay clean”!
What if we forgive, but they just keep doing it? Forgiveness doesn’t change the other person – it changes you.

4. What do you think we can gain when we forgive others?

Some answers may include:
Freedom
Doesn’t occupy space/rent in our minds
Bitterness is a party of 1
Forgiveness doesn’t change the other person – it changes you.
Reconciliation – a friend, a renewed relationship, a ….?
You become unstuck. There is now growth and movement.

A quote to add to the discussion:
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B Smedes

5. As a group, read the following quote and discuss its implications to questions 3 and 4.

“When you forgive another person, you’re not declaring them innocent. You’re just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You’re saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It’s not about winning or losing anymore. It’s about freedom. It’s about letting go… that’s why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven another person say, ‘it felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.’ Yes. That is exactly what it is. It’s like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart.” (The Love Dare).

Purpose: Internalize God’s Word and apply the truth to your personal life.

6. When have you struggled with forgiving someone in the past? What made it difficult to forgive?

7. What do you think about the Bible’s advice not just to forgive someone (Matthew 18:21-35), but, in a sense, to also forget the wrongs that someone has done against us (“Love keeps no records of wrongs” – 1 Corinthians 13:5)? Do you think it’s unreasonable? Doable? Why or why not?

8. What would it take to try and put the Bible’s advice into practice and “forget” the wrongs others have done to you, including the wrongs of those closest to you? What would it require you to do differently? What might get in the way of practicing that sort of forgiveness?

LEADERS: The goal of this is to point people to seek the empowerment of God to be able to forgive. Without God this is impossible.

The following verses are helpful to point out the Bible’s advice on forgiveness showing God doesn’t hold our sins against us:
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake and remembers your sins no more.”
Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
Hebrews 10:17 “Then he says, ‘ I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds.’”
Jeremiah 31:34 “And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sin.”

It may be good to mention boundaries within the topic of forgiveness. Boundaries – Doesn’t mean we have to give people total freedom to enter back into our lives and hurt us again. “Forgiving and Forgetting” is not necessarily “allowing”.

Purpose: Spend time listening for God’s direction and guidance as you seek to live out the truths of this passage in your everyday life.

9. For this part, we would suggest splitting into gender-specific groups of 2 or 3. Spend time listening to the voice of God. Ask him to reveal any situations in your life right now where you are struggling to forgive a wrong done against you by someone. As appropriate, spend some time sharing. What makes it hard to forgive that individual? What would it require to forgive that wrong?

Resist the urge to give advice. After a person has shared, spend some time listening to God and asking him how to pray for that person. Then, pray for them, asking for God’s help in practicing forgiveness towards that individual.